On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
