Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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