Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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