She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
