I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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