Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cannot find my penis.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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