Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
