You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
