Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
