But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
