accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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