Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
