Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
