i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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