so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
