Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
