just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
