also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My vagina just clenched in fear
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
