hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
