Me too!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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