this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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