why didn't you poke me back
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
