The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
