i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
