So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
