I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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