just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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