is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
