Soap is not a condiment
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
