i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
