Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm having to shit out rocks
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
