the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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