Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
