my room smells like sperm. sweet.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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