took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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