he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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