it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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