His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
