i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
