My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
