he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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