I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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