her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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