Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
