so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
