Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
