Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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