dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
