you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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