U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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