Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
