Whoa Z and x make the same sound
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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