Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize