why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm jealous of your bromance
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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