Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize