I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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