dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
