Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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