he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
