Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
