i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
